What? you cant do front feebles when a marching band in playing next to the handrail? After this day I thought for sure Nolan would be moving back home to Potato Land.

WORST LUCK EVER : The Nolan Helmstetter Interview

Name:    Nolan Helmstetter

Age:    Zombie

Hometown:   Potato Land, Idaho

Resides:    Carlsbad, California

Drink of choice:    Whiskey

Music:    Come on dude, that’s a generic interview question. you must be stoned. i’ll tell you what, every now and then i’m going to throw in a question that i think a none inebriated brooks would ask. okay?

Sponsors:    Split, Destructo, and um…….

50/50

Hello Nollan. How have you been? There’s only one L. never been better. i don’t even have to buy cigarettes right now with these fires, i just step outside for 10 minutes every hour or so and breathe deeply.

What have you been up to? Fuck…skateboarding? just trying not to fall off my skateboard mostly, that alone consumes a good amount of my time.

tailslide to fakie

Hows this quest to be the next extreme pro skateboarder going? A quest? Me and Bilbo are on are way to the fire mountain of doom to toss in our shred sticks and defeat the evil overlords of anti-skateboarding.

Whats your take on Southern California compared to Northern Idaho? Well shit. you can’t really compare. i like the skateboarding and weather of california. but i miss the mountains and trees of idaho. you can’t get away from anything in california. you know, every now and then it’s nice to hike out into the wild and fight some grizzlys or cougars.

How long do you think you’ll be able to jump down handrails? One time i was at a party, and this girl, that i’ve never met, walked up to me and told me i was going to die at 27. she seemed pretty confident so i imagine that is when i’ll stop doing anything.

kickflip

When will you realize that trucks are made to turn?    As soon as they make tranny into stairs with handrails down them you asshole. no way, i’m getting better. i just try to go out with adrian (mallory) and get my tranny down. he rips and it helps to push me. it’s not my fault i grew up in a town without a washington street. then again, i wouldn’t want to turn into a potato on tooth picks like you.

What would you do first? Get the Sheckler tattoo across your back or try the mega ramp?    Mega ramp switch, blind folded, and completely shit faced before i got a sheckler tattoo. but i just played that new skateboarding video game and jumped the mega ramp on that…so i guess i’m in the clear.

What’s good/bad about skateboarding?    I’m waiting for a better question still. nothing’s bad about skateboarding. it’s just gotten to a point where it’s really popular which means sometimes there is a lot of drama. but as long as you just skate and don’t get caught up in it…then i can’t really imagine anything wrong with it.

front lip

Why does your god hate you so much? I’m sorry, what i mean is why is your luck so bad when it comes to spots?    It’s got nothing to do with luck. it’s just a series of unfortunate events that has happened my whole life. bad luck would be just never being able to skate and getting kicked out. but it goes so far past that…whether it’s a police shoot out at the rail i want to skate, a highschool band playing a soundtrack to my skating right next to the spot, or me being the only person in the world to ever get kicked out of a spot…i don’t know. that kind of stuff just happens to me. not just with skating. but everything. i’ve been out hiking and dropped my bag off this cliff on accident and all my water bottles broke. or sliding my car into a ditch when i’m the only person around for miles. or this one time i was in portland skating and my friends and i got attacked by this crazy kid with a baseball bat. i think if it were bad luck then i wouldn’t keep doing it. but i seem to turn out fine…it just pisses me (and you) off. but it makes really good stories. and it rubs off on other people. like you locking your keys in your car TWICE. or trying to take a back road from fallbrook to oceanside and ending up in hell…or maybe it was temecula. it’s fantastic.

Seriously have you always had such problems with trying to go skate. I’ve been trying to tell you to give up and you wont. What keeps you going?    I guess it comes down to the fact that skateboarding is so much fun and all the people that are involved are awesome to hang out with. and i could have the worst day skating but it’d be better than doing anything else.

Last words?    um….no. i can’t think of anything noble or philosophical to say. have fun and try not to worry. don’t litter. and uh…carpool.

Anyone you would like to thank or give no thanks to?    oh i gotta thank too many people. brian young, lisa whitaker, my family, my friends, big brooks dog for making me use a computer to answer terrible questions, and all the people that helped me, which is a lot.

One of these days my friend. It will happen. We will shoot another photo….

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